This is me apparently…

I recently under went an assessment regarding my approach to work. Below I have pasted the report results, what do you think this says of me…

This report describes this individual’s preferred or natural pattern of behaviour. As this is an assessment of his temperament/behaviour only, other personal characteristics such as attitudes, self-motivation, stability, emotional maturity, intelligence, etc., as well as skills and abilities must be taken into consideration when reviewing this report.

This is a particularly competitive and goal-orientated individual who can be forceful in resolving uncertainties. He:
wants to lead the way in facing new challenges and pulls out all the stops to win;
-faces troublesome issues and obstacles willingly and deals with them according to established guidelines;
-is ambitious and not only welcomes but expects authority over others as well as responsibility for them;
-is exceptionally assertive and success-orientated.

Logical and realistic, he is likely to think through a problem, weigh the pros and cons and make decisions on facts, rather than on emotions. He:
-is work orientated, objective, inclined to look on things with a critical eye and may, therefore, save errors;
-tends to be a thinker and planner who, because of his analytical perspective, may come up with more creative ideas than others;
-is practical, straightforward and direct, not given to smooth-talking to build his case.

Restless and driving, he is energetic, works well under pressure and enjoys working to tight deadlines. He:
-can adjust to change and is quick to respond to new situations;
-has a sense of urgency and likes variety;
-is active, good at juggling different projects and will push himself and others to get results quickly.

Tending to be thorough, he tackles his responsibilities conscientiously. He:
-is detail-orientated and wants to be prepared for contingencies;
-responds to guidance and direction, adjusting to systems and procedures, putting an emphasis on quality of work.

What do you think, is this the me you know?

I want more…

If you can forgive my self indulgence then read on…

I have been looking back over my ministry as a Divisional Youth Officer. This is a job title that does not give credence to the role my colleagues and I play. We are stealth-like church leaders who front as youth workers. I mean in all good intension we are youth workers, but youth work can not stop at empowering young people in society and enabling their development towards potential. It has to be much more.

I find that after more than ten years of youth work, we are called to lead the young people God has placed before us. How this works out in practice I have no idea, it certainly doesn’t feature in my job description. The cry of a frustrated youth worker is that I can not work out this leadership in a fuller capacity.

God spoke and at the end of 2012 he said clearly to me these words which I immediately wrote down.

‘There is more to do, battles to be won, sacrifices to be made. There has been a taste of my goodness and now I want to unleash a blessing upon you like never seen before. I want to raise a generation of spirit filled disciples. I want to call a generation of leaders to stand and lead the church of my son, Jesus Christ. Call your generation to lead, invest yourselves, lead by doing, be an example in the faith. I will pour out my spirit, I will sustain you. I will empower you. I will give you all you need for the tasks ahead.’

And he has done that, year on year in this ministry I have seen people grow and move closer to him, and I have been amazed at how far he has brought us in such little time.

God has been so good and I can’t help but want to worship him for his generosity and love.

However, I am grumpy.

I am grumpy because I want more.

I don’t want to be a frustrated youth worker anymore.

I want to see my generation, week in and week out, encounter the God who lavishes love upon them and desires them to love others. I want to see, week in and week out, people come to faith. I want to see, week in and week out, people be healed. Made whole. Broken hearts bound up. Lost people finding a place to call home.

I want the church to be the church, and I want to be more of its story. I don’t want to be the guy who watches DVDs of God’s action in the world and say ‘isn’t that great’ but totally miss out on that myself. I don’t want to be a Christian-by-proxy and live it out through others. I want to live out the faith. I don’t want to be a consumer in a pew who has to watch as the Sunday meeting takes place and runs its agenda.

I’m bored of agendas! I want to get out of the way and let God set the agenda. I want to be surprised, again and again, by how incredible he is. That’s hard to do when I pack him into my nice little life box.

I’m done with that. I want to worship and pray and disciple.

I want to see the kingdom.

Thats all.

I desperately want more.

I am so desperate that I sometimes feel the stress and tension. I physically feel the desperation for more.

I know some folks from my practice of faith could rock up on this site and look at this and suggest that I am ignorant of what God is doing in the church or arrogant that I think that I have got it right and others a wrong. But you know what, I’m bored with having to tip toe on egg shells so that others don’t feel so bad about their experience. Bottom line, God is a God of more. Ephesians 3:20 ‘Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.’

His power at work in us.

If we see little of God, its probably because we’ve let little in.

But I am so done with that, I want more.

I’ve been reading Joshua and in Chapter 4 I read about the passing through the River Jordan and how they set up a monument of 12 stones to remind the people of what God had done.

I used to tell myself that my experiences of God were because I needed a good convincing start and that now I would see less of him because I had those monumental moments which I could look back on to remind me of what he had done. What a load of crap!

I am more convinced than ever that I was believing a lie to limit God’s action in my life.

I am more convinced through my experiences over the past year in ministry that God desires more than anything to lavish his love and favor on his people more and more and more. For no other reason than he loves to give good gifts to his children.

I was hoping that my rant would help free me from my frustrations but alas I have just exasperated them.

So here is my prayer tonight:

God you are so incredible,
Your love is unfathomable,
You are so good.
Just overwhelming.
But I want more.
I want more, I can’t help it.
You’re my Dad and I’m your son,
And I need you, I need more of you in my life.
I want to be about what you’re about.
What Jesus is about.
I want to be about the gospel.
I want to be about people coming to faith.
I want to be about freedom and people being set free.
I want to be about healing and people being made whole.
I want your Spirit to be with me, always.
I don’t want to ever be away from your presence.
You’re my hero and I think you are awesome.
All I have is yours, take it, and make something beautiful, please.


In recent days God has been speaking to me about overcoming brokeness. This whisper of the spirit started back at a conference but in all honesty it was more like God speaking through a mega horn.

I was not connecting with the worship at a conference I was attending, mainly because I didn’t know half of what the band were singing. No problem there, just one of those things you have to do every now and then. But then this chap got up to talk about what he was up to and why he was there.

He had come over from the states to see what this conference was all about and he offered to sing a song as part of the evening. He explained the lyrics and meaning of the song, picked up his electric acoustic and started to strum the opening cords.

A hush fell over the room.

God’s spirit became tangible in that place.

As the man literally threw open his heart and cried out to God, I saw the beauty of a God who reaches out in abundant, lavish love.

Brokeness has been around a lot recently:
The story the man at the conference shared about in his church of loss and pain (which I will share in a mo).
The damage of lies, deceit and selfishness of people close to me.
The struggles I face with some other challenging peoples.
The longings for faith experiences and my faith desires for my family.
The news of my friends church community centre being burnt to the ground this week.
The story of a man (that Debs met who’s child is in the same class with our eldest) who is a widower after suddenly losing his wife to sickness last year and courageously parents his two children with gut wrenching love.
And tonight I did some consultancy with a church leadership team and listened about their journey of being broken by imploding from traditionalism and coming to a place of dependancy on God and looking to move forward with Him in control.

Brokeness is all around.

It is the pain of loss.
It is the distress of betrayal.
The smothering of bullying.
The conflict with priorities.
The destruction of dreams.
The theft of life.
The hurt of a community.

In all of these, one thing is certain:

“Take a long, hard look. See how great he is—infinite,
 greater than anything you could ever imagine or figure out!
“He pulls water up out of the sea,
 distills it, and fills up his rain-cloud cisterns.
 Then the skies open up
 and pour out soaking showers on everyone.
 Does anyone have the slightest idea how this happens?
 How he arranges the clouds, how he speaks in thunder?
 Just look at that lightning, his sky-filling light show illumining the dark depths of the sea! 
These are the symbols of his sovereignty,
 his generosity, his loving care.
He hurls arrows of light,
 taking sure and accurate aim.
The High God roars in the thunder,
 angry against evil.”
Job 36:26-33 The Message

Our God is GREATER.

Greater than all the crap that happens.

He deals with it and we will overcome because he is the boss.
Jesus joins us in our pain and hurt and suffers with us.
He suffers the cross and overcomes the grave, stretching out his gift of life.

He makes everything new.

Restores the broken.
Heals the sick.
Gives hope to the hopeless.
Peace to the restless.
Strength to the weak.

I know this to be true, it is my experience and the experience of countless others. I will stand firm in my resolve. I will overcome and offer the same to those who I am honoured to share life with.

Here are two videos, the first is the story of the song from that conference, the second is the church singing it. This song has literally been played hundreds of times by me over the past month. This is the real deal!

Saviour worthy of honour and glory.
Worthy of all our praise.
For you overcame.
Jesus awesome in power forever.
Awesome and great is your name.
For you overcame.

We will overcome.
By the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.
Every one overcome.

I believe this to be true.